


In Honour of Truth

by ChromiumHeart



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: BB-8 the pilot, Cameo Phasma, Electrocution, Gen, Hitting, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Reading, Needles, Nightmares, Physical Abuse, Poe Needs A Hug, Star Wars - Freeform, Torture, chaptered fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-02 21:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13326783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChromiumHeart/pseuds/ChromiumHeart
Summary: Poe Dameron finds out that Kylo Ren is in fact Ben Solo, and he's distraught after realizing the person he grew up with is not only alive, but the Resistance's biggest enemy. Poe is sure he can help Ben remember who he used to be.





	1. Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> Post-TLJ. Warnings for graphic torture. Chapters will be posted everyday.

A Rebel Alliance or Resistance soldier hadn't set foot on Yavin 4 in decades. What was once a formidable base for the Alliance fell under attack before they moved their operations to Hoth. Leia was young then; just a woman looking for help against an unstoppable force. She didn't know then that her future would hold much of the same. 

Returning to Yavin 4 in the Millennium Falcon were only a handful of Resistance soldiers, some in desperate need of medical attention following the fight on Crait. Despite that and the losses that had been dealt to the Resistance over the past couple of days, there was still a cheerful optimism among everyone when they arrived on Yavin 4. It was a temporary escape from the prying eyes of the First Order, giving them enough time to collect themselves and recuperate before visiting other battle strategies. 

To Poe, Yavin 4 was home. This base was where he grew up, and the jungles were where he climbed and explored the world around him. The scent of the temperate climate took him back to those youthful, carefree years where he learned to become a pilot at the tender age of six, and the Rebels who would dote over him after long days. 

He was grinning when he stepped off the Falcon, breathing in deeply as Leia joined him. 

"I remember your mother bringing you around when you were half this size." She said with a smile, "She was a brilliant pilot." 

Poe radiated pride at that, happy to be home and hearing stories of his parents. He would never tire of it, and he would never stop trying to follow in their footsteps. To be as great as they told their son he could be. He touched the ring he wore around his neck on a simple chain; his late mothers wedding band that he hoped to one day give to the right partner. 

Yes, this was home. 

As everyone set about cleaning up the rebel base that hadn't seen action in decades, Poe was in the hangar pulling tarps from old fighters. Most were dismantled or in desperate need of repair, but he was sure with the help of the few pilots the Resistance had left, they could get a handful up and running again. His fingers brushed over one of the X-Wings rebel insignia, and he smiled. This place had so many beautiful memories. 

He spent most of his day working on the fighters, and with BB-8s guidance, managed to get one to functioning after some extensive rewiring. The other ships were going to need far more work, but at least he had something to cruise around in if time called for it. 

That evening, Poe left everyone else to their discussions and headed outside to lay under the stars. The night was still temperate, but not uncomfortable. He sprawled out in a patch of grass where he had a clear view of the sky and relaxed. After all they had been through, this was a welcome retreat. Maybe he would just stay here and go back to his family home. He wondered how big the Force tree that his parents planted had grown and at those thoughts, Poe smiled with a little sorrow this time. 

"You look like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders." Came Rey's soft voice, her steps nearly silent as she walked over and sat next to Poe on the ground. 

"This is my home planet. There's lots of memories here." He replied. 

"Mostly good ones, I would hope." 

Poe nodded, "I used to hang out here all the time. After my mom died, my dad enlisted the help of his friend L'ulo to raise me. He flew for the Resistance. He died not too long ago -- a couple weeks before you and Finn came along." 

Rey gave a sad smile and rest her hand on his shoulder, projecting comfort. She was proud of her abilities when she felt Poe relax under her fingertips. 

"He died a hero." She said simply, and Poe nodded. 

"My family flew for the Alliance; my mother for Leia and my father for Han Solo. I stayed with my grandmother and would hang out with Han and Leia's kid when they were around the base."

At that, Rey froze, her hand flexing slightly on Poe's shoulder, blunt nails catching the canvas of his jacket. 

"What -- what was his name?" 

Poe gave another smile to the stars. "Ben. We played a lot in the forests. I would play a pilot and he would play a soldier and we would fight the Empire." He laughed a little at the memory, "I saw him a couple more times when I was between training runs and he was visiting home, but then something happened -- he died. I don't know how, but Leia wouldn't talk about it. We couldn't even mention his name. So I guess I just let myself forget about him until coming back here." 

Rey let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and looked to Poe, knowing she couldn't conceal her feelings. Her face was etched in concern and hurt, her mind wrestling with the information and processing it. 

"Poe," She began, feeling like she enunciated every letter in his name, "Ben... he's not dead." 

Poe perked at that, taking in the information and suddenly sitting straight up, startling Rey. 

"He's not dead? Why would Leia lie to everyone about that? I thought he died while he was training somewhere... she said he was gone." 

Rey felt herself beginning to panic, so she reached desperately for Poe's hands. She finally understood why Finn kept taking her hand on Jakku. For comfort. 

"No, Poe. He didn't die. Ben was seduced by the dark side. By Supreme Leader Snoke." She paused again as tears threatened her eyes, "Ben Solo is Kylo Ren." 

That was when Poe felt his world collapse in on itself.


	2. The Truth is Told

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe Dameron finds out that Kylo Ren is in fact Ben Solo, and he's distraught after realizing the person he grew up with is not only alive, but the Resistance's biggest enemy. Poe is sure he can help Ben remember who he used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-TLJ. Graphic violence in following chapters. Will be posted everyday.

Rey had tried desperately to hold Poe back, even willing herself to try and use the Force, but she was so taken aback by Poe's reaction that she could barely concentrate. 

"Poe, you have to be reasonable!" She demanded, grabbing onto the collar of his jacket as he stormed back to the base. She only served to strip him of the article of clothing, not able to stop him. 

"Where is she?" Poe demanded, startling his fellow Resistance fighters, "Where's the General?" 

C-3P0 was the first to step up, his golden body shining in the dim light of the hangar that everyone was using as a common room. 

"The General is resting in her quarters, Commander. May I inquire --" 

Poe began through the hangar and down the stone hallways, leaving everyone muttering to themselves about what had gotten into him. He was furious, but most of all he was hurt. Crushed. 

The quarters were nothing special; most of them didn't have doors. Leia was lucky and claimed a room with a door, but there was no way to lock it to keep people like Poe out. She was sitting on the edge of her makeshift bed in night clothes when Poe let himself in, fire in his eyes. 

"Poe, it's the middle of the night, what do you want?" She asked, exasperation in her voice. 

"Why did you lie to me?" He growled, pacing in front of the General, "Why did you lie to me about Ben?" 

Leia's face fell and she looked away from Poe, suddenly unable to bare the accusing stare. Her hand came up absently to touch at the back of her neck and she sighed deeply. 

"Poe, you were young, and I was in... a certain position within the Alliance..." 

He scoffed, rolling his eyes hard. "Yeah, you didn't want anyone to know your kid had gone dark. I get it." He said, his voice still dripping with venom. 

"When Luke told us what happened, Han took it hard. He abandoned us, the Pathfinders. Your father." 

"Don't you bring my father into this!" Poe shouted, then immediately quieted, looking alarmed at himself that he reached that height of aggression so quickly. 

Leia stared at Poe for a moment and he raised his hand in a silent apology for his outburst. 

"No one knew except for Han, Luke and myself. We played it close to the chest. We didn't want Ben to become an enemy of the Alliance. He could have been executed if he was caught and he was just a young boy." 

Poe's features softened from anger to upset, and he crossed the small room to sit on the makeshift bed, slipping a comforting arm around Leia. She sighed heavily, putting on an outward expression of neutrality though inside she was torn. 

"He was pulled away from the light and brainwashed by a monster. I couldn't tell you that. I couldn't tell anyone that." 

Poe swallowed, "You were embarrassed and you didn't want the Alliance to look down on you. You -- did you choose the Alliance over your own son?" 

Leia closed her eyes and shook her head, "Of course not, that's... ridiculous." 

Poe let his arm slip from Leia and he stood again, "But its true. You could have rallied the Alliance to help save him." 

"It's not that easy, Poe. You don't understand." 

"Then make me understand." 

Leia looked up to the young pilot again, frowning. "Ben is gone. Snoke made sure of that. My son is gone." 

"I can't accept that." He muttered, shaking his head. 

"You met Kylo Ren, before Finn rescued you. He tortured you." Leia reminded him. 

"That was General Hux and his interrogation droid. Ren used the Force to find the information he needed. Of course it hurt... someone going through your brain like that but... he must not have known it was me." 

Leia shook her head. "Don't you try to justify his actions. Ben is gone, Poe, and I need you to drop this." 

"We can still save him." 

"There's nothing left of my son to save!" She snapped, "Now get out of my quarters and don't ask me about Ben Solo again. He's gone. Only Kylo Ren remains." 

Poe's hands curled into fists as he suppressed his rage, nails digging into his palms. He wanted to say something - anything - but he turned and marched out of the room and back to his own. 

If he could somehow make Kylo remember who he was, maybe there was hope for Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are loved! Visit me on [Tumblr](https://chromiumhearts.tumblr.com) to say hi or place fic requests.


	3. Kneel

Poe had made his choice, even though he knew Leia would probably have his head for it later. He left before the sun broke over the horizon, stopping at a nearby planet for fuel. He disabled his flight tracker so the First Order couldn't check his ship logs and see where he had come from, and he was on his way. 

BB-8 had beeped and whistled in protest from its spot on the older X-Wing, but Poe wouldn't be convinced otherwise. 

"I know I can get Ben to remember me, buddy. I'm not going to give up on him like everyone else has. Maybe he just needs to know that someone still cares. Maybe that'll be enough." 

BB-8 whistled sadly but didn't argue any longer, settling in for the ride to the First Orders last known location. The size of the dreadnoughts never ceased to amaze Poe; housing thousands of troopers that worked tirelessly in the name of the First Order, doing whatever they willed of them. 

Despite the heavy casualties at Holdo's hand, Poe knew the threat of the First Order was still very real, and it unnerved him. 

"Buddy, when we go into the hangar I want you to go into shut down mode. I don't want them tinkering with you or hurting you in any way." He told the droid before flipping his comm open and hailing the dreadnought. "This is Commander Poe Dameron of the Resistance, and I wish to speak face to face with Kylo Ren." 

There was a moment of silence, then a response. "You insolent _child_." Came the voice that could only belong to General Hux, "No bombers? No other fighters? I'm surprised, Commander. Given that you were the cause of so many deaths, I assume your General has given you over as a sacrificial lamb." 

Hux had always been venomous, but even the mention of the lost bombing fleet struck Poe to his core. He was glad that Hux didn't see him flinch. He refused to address the feelings of loss and guilt with a man who took billions of lives with the press of a button. 

"Look, General Hugs, I just want an audience with Kylo Ren and I'll be on my way. Just give me permission to land and this'll all be over soon." 

Poe could practically hear the rage course through the General and he couldn't help but smile to himself. 

"That's _Grand Marshal Hux_ to you, rebel scum!" There was a slight pause in the communication and Poe figured that even though Hux had a fancy new title, he still had to pass everything over Kylo Ren first. "Permission is granted, but you won't be leaving until you show some respect." 

The comm was cut and Poe let out a nervous laugh as he headed towards one of the dreadnoughts massive hangar bays. BB-8 immediately shut down once the X-Wing had safely landed, and Poe climbed out of the cockpit, immediately met by a fleet of stormtroopers and Hux himself. He glanced around, noting the number of pilots and troopers that buzzed around the hangar, going about their daily routine like there wasn't a dinged up X-Wing with a Resistance pilot in their midst. 

Hux slid over to him quietly and easily, but he was quick and Poe had to wonder if the man had seen active combat before landing a cushy desk job. In one movement he produced a monomolecular blade-dagger from the sleeve of his greatcoat and held it to Poe's throat. He could feel the blade more than he could see it, and he didn't move as Hux's long fingers snaked through his hair and pulled hard, shoving the blade closer to his throat. As Hux immobilized him with the blade, a trooper approached to slap binders around his wrists. 

"It is going to give me great pleasure to watch the Supreme Leader kill you." Hux muttered into his ear before slipping the blade back up his sleeve and releasing him. "Take him to the Supreme Leader's throne room." 

For once, Poe didn't have anything smart to say. His heart beat fast in his chest as he was marched to the throne room, his mouth feeling like it was filled with cotton. What was he even going to say to Ben? Maybe he should have given this more thought...

After a long turbolift ride, he was escorted into the massive throne room by the troopers. He could immediately feel the looming presence of Kylo Ren, even before he saw him draped in all black clothing, reclining in the large throne in the center of the room. 

"Kneel." He commanded, but Poe didn't budge. Kylo's hand tightened slightly. "I said, kneel."

Poe suddenly didn't have control of his own actions as he dropped hard to the durasteel floor. The troopers were waved off and they were alone as Kylo stood, moving towards Poe. 

As he got close he could see that Kylo no longer hid behind a mask, but had a hood of thick material up around his head. Still, Poe could see the big, dark eyes of the man he used to call his friend staring back. He followed the scar down his cheek where it disappeared under his jaw; a parting gift from Rey after the fight on Starkiller Base. 

"What do you want, Commander?" 

Poe breathed out heavily. When they had first met, Kylo's voice was disrupted by his helmets vocorder, but no longer. This was Ben Solo, and he had missed him dearly. 

"You don't remember me, do you?" He asked. 

"I remember you were asked 813 times about the location of the map to Skywalker. I remember you resisted all of Hux's traditional methods. I remember your scream as I raked your mind for answers." 

Poe looked to the floor when Kylo reminded him. He hated the feeling of someone searching through his mind, and the more he resisted, the more it hurt. 

"I know you... you're Ben Solo." 

Immediately Poe was scooped up from his kneeling position by an invisible force that held him tight around his neck. He was lifted until his feet couldn't gain purchase on the floor, his hands useless with the binders on. He struggled in vain, his eyes watering as pressure crushed down on his neck. 

"Rebel scum," Ren sneered, circling him, "I ought to have your tongue removed for _daring_ to use that name around me." 

Kylo squeezed Poe's neck for a moment more and then dropped him back to the floor, leaving him coughing and gasping for air. 

"I know you." He managed between gasps. 

Kylo's foot came between his shoulder blades, pinning him to the floor with ease. He applied little pressure, as there was more dominance in his stance with Poe under his boot. 

"You know nothing of me. But I know you, Commander." 

Kylo used his comm to call troops back into the throne room and Poe could feel his cheeks flush that others had to see him sprawled out defenceless under Kylo's boot. He let the troopers approach before he lifted his foot, allowing them to scoop Poe up from under his arms and haul him to his feet. 

"Let Hux do as he pleases, but no maiming or killing. No broken bones. I want him alive. Commander, you'll be telling my Grand Marshal where I can find the last hold outs of the Resistance so my strike team can go put them out of their misery. And then I shall put you out of yours." 

Kylo turned his back as Poe began to struggle against the troopers. 

"Ben, don't do this! Please, remember!" 

The man turned around so quickly even one of the troopers startled slightly. The glare in his eyes and the look on his face could have made a lesser man tremble. 

"Make sure the Commander knows my name. Ask him a thousand times a day if you have to." He snarled, "Don't make me comb through your mind again." 

"Why, are you afraid of what you'll find?" 

Kylo struck Poe hard in the face, leather connecting with the soft flesh of his cheek. The impact caused the skin to break and immediately begin to swell, but Poe still looked to Kylo defiantly as he was dragged away. 

He would make Ben remember. He had to.


	4. Stop Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-TLJ. Warning for graphic violence, blood and bodily harm. Poe is not okay, friends.

"No breaking bones, maiming or killing? You must be some level of importance to the Supreme Leader." 

Hux looked over the datapad in his hand before setting it down on a nearby table and approaching Poe. He was strapped in the interrogation chair again, and Hux took a moment to monitor his vitals. Poe was unreasonably calm for the situation he found himself in. Again. 

"Tell me what the Supreme Leader wants to know and I'll make sure you get some food and water brought to your cell." 

Poe didn't respond, and it made Hux's jaw lock. He strode around the chair slowly, letting the sound of his footsteps fill the room. 

"I almost like you more when you're quiet." Hux mused, "Too bad the troopers won't see me carve out your tongue." 

Poe's jaw clenched at that. Hux would abide by the rules set forward by Kylo, but there was a lot that he could do to him that didn't involve maiming or broken bones. 

"I would carve out your tongue, and blind you, I think." Hux said more to himself than to Poe, "Take away your sight and watch you struggle with the realization that you would never fly again. That would almost be more satisfying than seeing you publicly executed." 

The idea of being blinded terrified Poe and his body went slightly rigid at the thought. He thought he might rather die, too. He was a pilot and that was all he had - he wasn't good at anything else. If he was blind, he would be useless. Kicked out of the Resistance and left alone. Poe was mortified. 

"Stunned silence?" Hux quipped, "I'm sure you've had death threats before, Dameron. You barely escaped us last time with your life." 

Hux signalled a trooper over and slipped off his uniform gloves in favour of vibroknucklers without the blades activated. For now, anyway. He stepped in front of Poe, regarding him for a moment before he began to beat him like he was a punching bag, raining blows all over his body. 

The first strike took Poe's breath away as he caught him in the solar plexus, and he was surprised that under that uniform, Hux seemed to have some strength behind him. He felt the weight of his day and all of his stresses begin to lift with each strike, melting away as his heart rate increased with the sounds of his fist meeting Poe's body and the whimpers of pain they produced. He tended to avoid Poe's face for the most part, but he hit the same spot Kylo did just to make his head spin a little. Poe's head whipped to the side and the inside of his cheek scraped against his teeth, causing his mouth to fill with blood. 

Poe didn't know when Hux activated the small blades on the vibroknucklers; the blades were so sharp he barely felt them puncture his skin as the blows continued to rain down. Blood began to seep through his clothing in little circles, growing bigger when Hux would strike the same area. 

By the time Hux was done, he was breathing heavily, his hair was out of place and his hands were bloodied. Poe didn't even register that it was his blood at first; he was too busy trying to keep the pain from consuming him. His body shook against the interrogation chair and blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth. It was probably one of the worst beatings he had ever received in his life, and he was surprised it came from the thin, red haired man that Poe always assumed only projected strength instead of physically possessing it. 

Hux gave the bloodied vibroknucklers to a trooper and another handed him a wet towel to clean his hands up with before putting his gloves back on. 

"What is our Supreme Leaders name?" 

Poe glared at Hux with defiance. "Ben Solo."

Hux signalled a trooper over and watched as they found a wound over Poe's ribcage, pushing their fingers against it to make him twist and writhe in pain. 

"What is our Supreme Leaders name?" 

Poe's body jerked involuntarily away from the press of the troopers fingers. "Ben Solo..." 

The trooper withdrew their fingers from the injury and landed a strike against it instead, breaking the flesh open further. Then, they went back to pushing against the swollen tissue, blood oozing around black gloves and speckling the pristine white armour. Poe cried out in pain. 

"What is our Supreme Leaders name?" Hux demanded again, his voice raising several octaves. 

"Ben Solo!" Poe said between grit teeth, feeling like the trooper could reach inside the wound in his side and snap a rib with their bare hand. 

Hux tisked softly, watching the trooper for a moment. He turned away from Poe as the scent of blood started to permeate the air of the small cell. The trooper still hadn't relented in their torture, not until Hux waved them off with a dismissive hand. 

"Keep him awake. You are not to give him any food. Monitor his vitals and administer water when needed. If he acts out, activate the IT-O interrogation droid. I don't think the Commander has had the pleasure of meeting that one, yet." 

Poe closed his eyes when Hux left the cell, but a slap to his already bruised face startled him back into a rigid consciousness. 

"You guys suck." He muttered, spitting blood on the floor. 

The trooper that had been clawing at his side wiped their bloody fingers on Poe's clothing and hit him several times in the abdomen with the butt of their blaster just because they could. Poe spat up a little more blood and let out a low whine of pain. 

His whole body ached, and they could break his body as they saw fit, but Poe wouldn't give up on Ben. There had to be a small part of him left in Kylo Ren's head, and Poe was going to wrench it out of him if it was the last thing he ever did.


	5. Nowhere to Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-TLJ. Warning for graphic violence.

On the fourth day, even Hux had some compassion and let Poe have something to eat. It wasn't anything more than protein bars and some caf, but Poe was grateful for anything at this point. He was ravenous, trying to slow his eating so it would fill him faster for longer, but he couldn't help it. His stomach hurt a little afterward but he was grateful to feel full; the hunger pangs were an awful addition to his already sore body. 

He had only slept here and there, mostly when the troopers were changing shifts or when one couldn't be bothered to keep him up. His right eye was so swollen he couldn't open it, and his body was littered with bruises. His bottom lip was split and caked with dried blood and his clothes clung to him in places where patches of blood had seeped through the fabric. 

When troopers came to retrieve him from his cell for another round of torture, he still fought despite how much his body hurt. He received a blow to his stomach from a blaster which made him double over, becoming a little more pliant as they moved him from one room to the other, but he still kicked and flailed while he could as they strapped him into the interrogation chair. 

When Hux walked in, carrying a cup of hot caf in his hand, he made a slight face as he took in Poe's appearance. 

"You smell worse than a bantha farmer." He quipped, crossing the room to activate his favourite interrogation droid. 

"Yeah well the accommodations are a little lacking around here." Poe snapped back, shifting uncomfortably in the chair. 

"You're much more resilient than other prisoners." Hux noted as he monitored Poe's vitals, "Four days and still no answers. The Supreme Leader will be visiting today, so I hope you find your voice before he intrudes on your mind." 

The interrogation droid came to life and drifted over to Hux, hovering over his shoulder. Poe's eyes widened. Even General Leia spoke about how awful these droids were, and they were more feared than any other interrogator droid that the First Order had. 

The droid floated close and Poe felt a needle slip under the skin on his neck, the injection site feeling cold as the droid administered something viscous into his veins. He grit his teeth as the droid floated back, beginning its scan and identifying Poe's most sensitive areas on his body. 

"IT-O is lowering your pain threshold and keeping you conscious for the procedure." Hux explained, "And now its identifying the most sensitive parts on your body. Try not to scream too much when giving your responses, I need them coherent." 

Poe's eyes snapped to Hux again and he was about to bark back a response when the droid pressed a painful shock to the juncture of his neck and shoulder. He thrashed with the pain, but didn't give Hux the satisfaction of a scream. 

"Where is the rebel base?" The droid asked in monotone, waiting only several seconds for a response before shocking Poe again. 

He closed his eyes and couldn't help the low whimper; the pain was increased tenfold by the drug coursing through his veins.

"Where is the rebel base?" It repeated. 

Poe was silent. 

The questioning and subsequent shocks went on longer than Poe thought they could, the drug keeping him awake even though his head would lull from side to side. He tried to welcome unconsciousness, but the drug wouldn't let him. The droid had increased the electrical shocks, and had begun pulling at one of Poe's fingernails when Kylo Ren arrived. By now Poe was screaming, voice hoarse as the droids little pincers slipped into the sensitive nail bed to pry it away. 

The droid stopped momentarily to float over Kylo's shoulder, its pincers coated in Poe's blood. His hands trembled in their shackles. 

"Where is the rebel base?" The monotone voice asked. 

"I don't know." 

He let out a sob as Kylo walked by him, smoothing a gloved hand through Poe's greasy hair before slamming his head back against the chair. He felt his head spin and his stomach tighten as the movement caused a wave of nausea to wash over him. 

"Ben," He croaked, "Ben, please remember..." 

Kylo's jaw set and the droid moved in, shocking and searing the flesh on the inside of Poe's left thigh, ripping another hoarse scream from his throat. 

"You will address me properly." Kylo's voice was deep and smooth, but Poe could barely focus. He was sure he was smelling his own burning flesh and his stomach heaved. He suppressed the gag that threatened at the back of his throat. 

Everything was quiet in the room for a moment, save for Poe's heavy panting and the rattling of the cuffs around his battered body. Kylo waited longer than he should have for the response, hoping that the torture over the past several days had made Poe more pliant. 

It didn't. 

The droid drifted to Poe's other thigh and administered another convulsive shock and probing burn to the soft flesh of his thigh, searing right through the pants he wore. He pulled at his bonds and shouted as loud as he could, feeling like his lungs might burst with the effort. 

"Look inside my mind! Please, Ben!" Poe blurted out desperately, but the droid only floated up until it hovered in front of Poe's face. He couldn't see where Kylo had gone. 

The pain was blinding and he felt white hot under the electricity that surged through his head. His whole body began to seize and he probably would have swallowed his tongue if the droid didn't monitor his well being. It stopped just as Poe started to take breathing for granted. 

"Where are the remaining rebels?" 

Poe couldn't even open his eyes. His body flinched and seized on its own accord and he gasped desperately for air. He sobbed, tears rolling down his cheeks, thinking he may have finally reached his breaking point. 

"I don't know." He whispered finally, and Kylo hit him so hard the room spun. 

He sagged in the restraints, metal biting into his skin as it kept him upright. The droid floated close again and delivered another agonizing shock, this one feeling longer than the last. Poe began to pray that they would just kill him, but he still didn't regret his choice in coming here. 

When the shock finally stopped, Kylo was gone and two troopers were freeing him from the interrogation chair. He barely realized he had lost control of his bladder during the last induced seizure until he was brought to the showers. 

The troopers stripped him, not bothering to be gentle, ripping open healing scabs as the clothing was torn from his body. He laid on the floor, shivering and helpless as they turned the water on. Poe watched his blood mix with the water as it curled down the drain in front of him, happy that the troopers couldn't see his tears too.


	6. Scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post-TLJ. Another warning for violence.

Poe didn't see anyone for what felt like days after the ruthless torture. After his shower the troopers had dressed him in grey slacks and a white shirt and left him in his cell where he had remained. He had passed out for a while, but when he awoke again he took a reluctant look over himself. His chest and stomach were a mess of scabs and ugly bruises; he had burn marks on the insides of his thighs and elbows, and though he couldn't see his face, he knew that was bad, too. 

He had received a bacta patch to reduce the chance of an infection which he was grateful for, but beyond that there was no care. Troopers would deliver him water that he cherished like he was parched and baking in the desert sun, but no food. It was no wonder everyone caved under interrogation; Poe didn't blame them. 

Nightmares kept sleep from him, and the fluctuating temperature in the cell left him either huddling in a corner for warmth or sprawled out on the durasteel in search of reprieve from the heat. He figured by that, he must have been deep in the ship; a place that didn't see a lot of foot traffic aside from the guards. 

This time when the troopers came to retrieve him, Poe gave no fight, allowing himself to be dragged down the hall to the interrogation room and strapped into the chair. The bonds still bit into the bruised flesh and his whole body ached, but at least he knew he would get some food and water before everything began. 

When Hux walked in he glanced to Poe for only a moment before checking his vitals. If he didn't know better, he would have assumed the man was near invincible to their torture methods. 

"At least you smell better today. Just try not to piss yourself again." 

Poe's cheeks flared up with embarrassment, but he didn't make eye contact with the man, nor did he struggle in his bonds. 

"Where are the last remaining rebels?" 

Poe swallowed thickly as the droid that had become the thing of his nightmares floated close. 

"I don't know." He said weakly, and the droid immediately clamped down on a finger, threatening to break it. It hesitated for only a moment before crushing the bone. 

Poe screamed; he thought about telling Hux broken bones weren't allowed, but he assumed they were getting impatient. 

"What is our Supreme Leaders name?" 

Poe immediately burst into tears, and the emotion seemed to startle Hux. "Ben Solo!" He screamed, body convulsing as he received several shocks to various sensitive parts of his body.

"What is his name?" Hux growled, his whole body seething with Poe's insolence. 

"Ben Solo!" Poe yelled back, feeling the droid clamp down on another finger and crush it. 

"You will show the Supreme Leader your respects and tell us where the rebel base is or I will carve out your tongue!" 

It was then that Kylo stormed in, using the Force to launch Hux across the room with little care for his well being. His body hit the wall with a hard thud, but he was quick to get back on his feet. 

"Get out." He ordered, and Hux complied without so much as a word or a glance to either Kylo or Poe. 

"Please," Poe pleaded, bringing his eyes up to look him in the face, "Look inside my mind. Please." 

Kylo Ren didn't hesitate. Poe's head was thrown back against the chair and he felt the prickling of Kylo at the forefront of his mind. Even though he didn't fight it, it hurt all the same. 

Poe thought hard about their lives as carefree children on Yavin 4, running around the forests, swimming in the streams and even climbing the Force tree outside his home. 

He pushed the memory of them saying goodbye to one another for the last time before Ben was taken away by Luke to become a Jedi. Ben had been excited, and Poe reflected that and felt the same. Ben was going to be a Jedi - a strong and powerful warrior and though it meant Poe would see him much less, his heart had swelled with pride. 

Then he thought about the hurt he had felt when he was told Ben Solo was dead. How he ran from the base to hide the tears that fell from his father. How he ran until his lungs burned and he collapsed near the streams where they had spent hot days. Poe had cried for hours that day, inconsolable. He pushed all of those painful memories to the front of his mind, hoping desperately that he saw how much Poe had cared and how much he had missed him. 

When he connection ended, Poe slumped in the chair, again just being held up by the bindings. His head ached horribly from the intrusion and he openly sobbed, throwing all of his pride to the side. This man in front of him was his friend once, before the darkness took over. 

Kylo had leaned against the single table in the room, drinking it all in and trying to piece together his own fractured mind. He remembered Luke saying that Poe couldn't come with them because he wasn't sensitive to the Force in the way that he was, and he seemed to choke up momentarily at the memory. He remembered those forests, the base, the long days playing and how Poe would always wear a rebel helmet and pretend he was a pilot. 

"Ben," Poe said, voice barely above a whisper, his heart skipping a beat when he responded and their eyes met. "Do you remember me?" 

Kylo stared at Poe for a moment, feeling the memories blooming in his mind. They'd been suppressed, locked away so long that he didn't recognize Poe at all when he had painfully scoured his mind the first time. What had Snoke done to him? How much of his life was he missing? 

"Yes." He finally breathed out, his stomach twisting slightly with guilt. 

Poe sobbed again, tears streaking his face. "Ben, please help me. Please." He begged, his eyes pleading as much as his voice. 

It looked as if Kylo was mulling over the decision when they were interrupted, Phasma appearing in the doorway. Poe stared with awe; he thought Finn said she was dead, but here she was, her chrome armor looking pristine. 

"Supreme Leader, we have an urgent call for you in your quarters." 

Poe struggled a little more as Kylo straightened wordlessly and left the cell with Phasma trailing close behind. He didn't know how long he sat strapped in the chair for until the door opened again. His heart fell when he saw Hux and several troopers in the doorway. 

"Where are the last of the rebels?" He asked, and Poe wanted to scream. "This is your last chance, Commander." 

Poe bit his tongue. "I don't know." 

Hux sighed. "Tell Phasma to bring the troops to the hangar for 2100 hours. It looks like we will be executing a rebel today." 

Poe's eyes went wide at that, staring Hux down. He waited for the man to start his questioning and torture again, but it didn't come. Not right away. Instead he simply set up the IT-O droid and let it torture Poe again, this time for nothing more than his own amusement. Poe's screams echoed through the hallways as Hux walked down the hall to the turbolift. It was a beautiful sound to a twisted soul.


	7. Remember

When the door to the interrogation room slid open again, Poe could barely lift his head. He didn't know how long the droid had tortured him for, but it had stopped when Poe's whole body gave up on him and he had fallen unconscious. His head hurt, a steady, throbbing headache, and his mouth was dry and tasted of blood. This was it. He was going to die. He was going to die because he thought he could single handedly save Kylo Ren from the clutches of the Dark Side and the First Order. 

Leia had been right when she said his impulsiveness was going to get him killed. Poe just hoped they would make it quick. 

When the bonds were released, his body pitched forward, but he was caught and laid gently on the durasteel. Poe's whole body screamed in agony and he cried out in pain. 

"I don't know." He muttered against the floor, "His name is Ben Solo and I don't know where the rebels are. I don't know..." Even on the brink of execution, he would never tell the First Order what they wanted to hear. 

By now, he was sure that the Resistance had left Yavin 4 behind. Leia wasn't stupid; she knew that Poe would have headed straight for the First Order and she would have gotten the troops rallied fast to hide them again. 

He felt fingers slide gently, almost comfortingly through his hair. Even the barely-there touches made his eyes well up with tears. He was so tired. Hungry. Thirsty. Everything. He let out a soft, low sob and curled into himself. He wanted to die. He had never wanted to die before. 

"They're on Yavin 4." 

Kylo's voice shook Poe to his core and his heart leapt up into his throat. _Oh no_ , he thought, _They're going to die and it's my fault..._

"I saw it when I was in your mind." He explained, continuing the slow attempt at comfort on the broken pilot. "I didn't tell Hux." 

Poe blinked against the threat of tears and he lifted his head from the floor, his brow creased and slick with perspiration. 

"This isn't you." Poe croaked; even trying to talk made his whole body ache. "You're Ben Solo. Remember. Ben Solo..."

Kylo felt Poe's hand tighten desperately in his robes. The grip was weak, but it was there. 

"Get up." He ordered, but Poe could barely keep his head up. A pang of guilt shot straight through his gut. "Please. Get up." 

Poe put his hands to the durasteel, trembling, trying to muster strength he didn't have. His bare feet pushed against the floor but he got as far as hands and knees before he collapsed to the floor again. He couldn't even walk to his own execution. 

Kylo swallowed, racking his brain with what to do. If Poe couldn't stand, he certainly couldn't pilot a ship. But he couldn't leave; the First Order would know what he had done and he would lose what trust they had in him. 

Then, it came to him. 

He stood and lifted Poe, half using the Force to bear some of his weight, and half using the strength he possessed. He was conscious of the bruises and burns littering Poe's body and Kylo felt nauseated. He had allowed this. 

Kylo made his way through the empty halls, up a turbolift to the hangars and down to the one where Poe's X-Wing still sat. The entire journey, Kylo could feel the wave of emotions washing over Poe and into him; fear, pain and uncertainty. He thought Hux had sent Kylo to fetch him for execution. But when they reached the X-Wing, there was some relief in the other man's mind, relief and confusion. 

Kylo climbed the ladder with Poe in his arms, using the Force to pop open the cockpit. It took some maneuvering to get Poe into the pilots seat but he finally did, buckling him in place. Kylo wasn't sure if Poe had an accessible medkit, so he snagged one from a nearby TIE, as well as food supplies. 

Poe looked at his once-friend, reaching up and placing a hand against his cheek after he climbed back up the ladder to deliver the goods. Kylo looked shocked at the gesture. His eyes seemed glossy and full of emotion. 

"I knew you were still in there, Ben." He said softly, "Remember who you are." 

The hand slid from Kylo's cheek and BB-8, who had been ignored and in shut down mode the whole time, beeped to life again as Poe made his presence known. It whirred with happiness, despite Poe's awful condition. 

"Don't try to fly yourself home. Let the droid take over." Kylo informed him, "And don't ever come back, Poe Dameron. I can't be who you or Rey or my mother need me to be." 

Poe fired up the X-Wing and flipped a couple switches, allowing BB-8 to take over the guidance systems. He shook his head at Kylo's words, not willing to accept them. He might not come back again, knowing that Hux was around and got his daily excitement out of watching a droid make people scream, but this wouldn't be the last time they saw one another. He knew that much. 

"People change, Ben. You chose the dark side, Snoke, this life -- but you can choose to change, too. You've already started. Ben was the name of her only hope. Don't forget that." 

Poe reached to his neck and pulled hard, breaking the chain around his neck and leaning over to press the ring and chain into Ben's gloved hand. Ben stared at Poe for a moment, clutching the ring tightly in his hand. From fractured memories, he knew how important this ring was. His mothers. Poe always sought it out in times of need or comfort, wrapping fingers around it and playing with it. It meant more to him than anything else in the universe. Poe gave him a smile. 

Kylo stepped down from the X-Wing and watched as Poe settled into the pilots seat for the trip back to the Resistance. He had escaped certain death at the hands of the First Order again, but it had been worth almost dying for. Kylo wiped the minds of everyone in the hangar and went to find Hux and inform him of his staffs inability to keep a prisoner from escaping. 

Poe knew Ben Solo was in there and had been awakened. He saw it in those soulful eyes, and he knew he would come home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are loved! Visit me on [Tumblr](http://chromiumheart.tumblr.com) to say hi or place fic requests.


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